It’s a call to adventure in a world that tells us to conform. It is an embrace of uncertainty and discomfort. The pathless path is an alternative to the default path. Whyte says that when we first encounter the idea of a pathless path, we are not meant to understand what it means. After spending the first 32 years of my life always having a plan, this kind of blind trust in the universe was new, scary, and exciting. ¹ To me, the pathless path was a mantra to reassure myself I would be okay. To Whyte, a pathless path is a paradox: we cannot even see it is there, and we do not recognize it. It was the idea of a pathless path, something I found in David Whyte’s book The Three Marriages. It didn’t take me long to realize I had been on a path that wasn’t mine and to find a new way forward, I would need to step into the unknown.Ībout a year into this journey, I stumbled upon a phrase which helped me take a deep breath. I left with the intention to become a freelance consultant, but soon enough, that story started to show its cracks as well. I even gave back a $24,000 signing bonus and missed out on a $30,000 bonus if I had been able to stick it out for another nine months. My restlessness was easy to hide because my path was filled with impressive names and achievements, and when you’re on such a path, no one asks Why are you doing this? It took me a while to recognize this blind spot and have the courage to start asking myself those kinds of deeper questions in a serious way. I moved from job to job, convinced the next stop was always the final stop. In a ten‑year period, I worked for five companies and spent two years in grad school. I realized I didn’t want that to happen to me. We like to think that once we make it we can finally be ourselves, but based on who the companies selected, it was clear that the longer people stay at a company, the higher odds that they would become what the company wanted. I read through feedback reports from people throughout the company and created summarized reports of each executive’s strengths and weaknesses. I watched the people pass my desk and wondered if they felt the same stuckness as I did.Įventually, I would start my work, helping company boards assess their senior executives to see who the next CEO of the company should be. Most mornings I came into the office and sat there struggling to start my day. Everyone around me was always moving forward towards the next achievement.Ĭhasing achievements is what brought me to that New York City job working with CEOs, the final one before I decided to quit. Yet I opted into an identity that didn’t accept such complacency. When I made that amount for the first time at 27, I felt like I had more than I could ever need. Growing up, I thought making $100,000 a year made someone rich. Then put your head down and keep going, indefinitely. Study hard, get good grades, get a good job. This was the end result of an obsessive focus on getting ahead in my twenties. I was successful, and on my way to being even more successful. I was working at a consulting firm making nearly $200,000 a year and working on projects for some of the most recognizable CEOs in the world. I was single, spending my time at work, eating out, partying with friends, dating, and constantly plotting ways to work less or escape work altogether. This would have been unimaginable to me five years earlier when I lived in New York City. It was the end of a three‑month period where I had felt completely alive, spending my time learning, creating, solving problems, and spending time exploring Taipei with my wife. It was the first time I had shared my story in another language, and as I finished, a calmness swept over my body. I shared the story of quitting my job, deciding to move to Taiwan, meeting the woman who would become my wife, starting an online business, and living in five different countries. As the teacher of my semester-long Chinese language class called my name, my heart started to race. Where the journey leads is to the deepest truth in you. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. Paul Millerd The Pathless Path Imagining a New Story for Work and LifeĪll rights reserved.
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